How Much Do You Value Yourself?

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June 3, 2024

10:22 am
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Guest Contributions, Motivation

For years, I kept communication lines open with my exes, never really understanding the gravity of that decision. Some of them thought, “Oh, I will always have access to her,” and some were quite entitled, demanding space in my life even though their time was long gone.

Recently, a particular person of the past knocked on my door again, and this time, I was very candid. See, what that person didn’t know is that I am no longer the girl who craves validation from every man she laid her eyes on. What he didn’t know was that my standards are now intact, and I don’t need to keep conversations or fill my time with meaningless conversations that will lead nowhere.

Once more, I realised that people are often just out here looking for distractions. For years, I was a part of someone’s distraction, part of someone’s guilt and shame that they didn’t want to face. For the last few years, I have learned to enforce boundaries and ask blunt questions like: What do you want? Why are you calling me? What are your intentions? Where is this leading?

The minute I started to ask these questions was the very minute or even second that I never heard from them again.

Are you part of someone’s distraction? Are you using someone to be a distraction for you? Or have you awakened to see things for what they are?

As I have grown and started to value myself and my time, I hardly sit around having futile chats; I don’t have time nor capacity to entertain what is not mine and what is not for me.

It was a hard lesson, but I am grateful I learned it.

My access to others is not automatic, and it’s actually a privilege for someone to have my time, not because I think much of myself but because I now know what my value is.