On our wellness journey our relationship with our feelings play a critical role. The way we see our feelings plays a big role in how we relate to our feelings. We have classified feelings as negative or positive depending on our experience of that feeling. For example, anger may be viewed as a negative feeling, whilst happy may be viewed as a positive feeling.

We sometimes consider feelings as unnecessary. We may not see the need to talk about them or even “feel” feeling or on the opposite end, feelings may be our compass. Our frame of reference for making decisions. Our experiences of feelings are as diverse as we are. The truth about feelings is that they are messengers and that there are no bad or good feelings. Feelings come with a message and our role is to receive the message and then decide how to respond. There is space between our feelings and our response. We don’t always utilise this space effectively. For example: hitting your child because you are angry at your child or buying an overpriced item that you don’t need because you feel happy about news you received.

One of the ways we can learn to expand that space between feeling and action, is to simply sit with the feeling. What this means is that you do not take any action related to that feeling whilst you are still experiencing the feeling at an intense or overwhelming level. During this period of not acting on the feeling, it can be helpful to engage in supportive activities to keep you present and aware of the feeling without the overwhelm of wanting to act.

Supportive activities include but are not limited to:

intentional breathing,
listening to music,
talking to yourself (in healthy ways, which includes recognising that you are experiencing the feeling),
talking to a trusted person (without ruminating on the issue),
moving your body in ways that feel good for you.

Sitting with the feeling can be uncomfortable, especially if it is a new practice. Stay with it. It has the wonderful reward of bringing you to a point where you can truly see the deeper message of the feeling and then enabling you to take a decision when you are fully present. Try starting with feelings that you are relatively comfortable with. When you experience the feeling, wait before you act. Sit with the feeling, tell yourself that you are experiencing this feeling and then engage in an action that is not a direct action to this feeling. Explore the feeling a little bit, by asking questions about the feeling to yourself. After some time make the decision regarding the feeling and then act.

Finally, the most amazing thing about feelings is that when you take the time to sit
with it, you will learn a lot about yourself.

Yours in wellness,

February is here and many human bodies are releasing a big exhale, because January and the many expectations that come with it have passed. During January there is normally a significant increase in the “new you” and “better you” messages through various mediums. Many people experience this as overwhelming, because with it comes the hidden message of “you lack” or “you have failed”. 

This is especially true if you are experiencing a challenging period. During challenging periods, the primary focus is on getting through it (surviving) and very little resources are left for achieving anything else. In a predominantly achieving culture this can be perceived as you not working hard or not doing anything.

If I am describing you, this is a reminder that you are not alone. 

Experiencing overwhelm is especially true for people who hold multiple roles. These roles can be spouse, parent, employee, entrepreneur, supervisor, community volunteer, athlete and this list can continue. Note that there is not any mention made of our role towards ourselves. Then add the disasters we experience such as poverty, chronic illness, premature death, violence, racial discrimination, and the many other difficult experiences. 

Again, you are not alone. Life is beautiful and life is difficult. Both these realities are true. Learning to live with these realities without being overwhelmed by them is a philosophy and practice worth exploring. 

Advice that works for many people is to start small and practice consistency. I.e. choose one small healthy act and repeat this act on a frequent, preferably daily basis. 

If you are concerned with your physical health, your small healthy act might be drinking water every morning. 

If you have concerns with the way you parent, your small healthy act might be a daily 5-minute check-in with each of your children. 

If you want to increase productivity at work, your small healthy act might be to do a daily review every day around 5 to 10 minutes before you go home. 

If you long for a deeper connection with yourself, your small healthy act might be 2 – 3 minutes at a set time every day where you sit on your own and do slow breathing. 

The focus is on a small act that you can do in most circumstances and that does not require resources that are not readily available. Having a clear time and place further secures your success. The success lies in the repetition of the act. You are creating a pattern of success. You can build on this success by committing to another small act and putting that act on repeat and so you repeat the process.

With one small act on repeat you will not move mountains overnight, but you are starting the process of crumbling the mountain. And you, my friend is so worth every crumble that contributes to your holistic wellness.

Today, we are talking about quality control in wellness. 

A quick google search will tell you that quality control refers to a procedure or a set of procedures that is intended to ensure that a product or service adheres to defined criteria or requirements. In one of our earlier posts, we shared our adapted definition of wellness, being “a state of actively living a lifestyle that helps to attain holistic health”.  Bringing it in the context of quality control, health is the state of being and wellness is the pursuit of this state. 

Therefore, wellness is the process and health is the product. In practicing wellness, we will have to work according to set criteria and requirements if we wish to produce the product (health). There is a difference between health and holistic health, and this distinction plays a major role in the wellness process.

We are committed to holistic health as we believe in the important role all our parts play. As a believer of the Bible, I immediately think of the scripture (1 Corinthians 12) that speaks of one body, many parts. When we consider our individual being, our parts include physical, mental, social, spiritual, financial and emotional.

On your wellness journey, what is the product you are looking for? Are you focused on a specific part of your being and seeking health in that area, for example your physical body? Are you looking at holistic health and considering all your parts?

Whatever your focus may be, the seven (7) quality principles as prescribed by the International Organisation for Standardisation (ISO) can be very valuable in choosing, testing, implementing, monitoring and assessing the wellness process you wish to follow. These seven principles are customer focus, engagement of people, leadership, process approach, continuous improvement, evidence-based decision making and relationship management.

A practical example of leadership on your wellness journey will be you having a clear vision of what your wellness destination is and you clearly communicating this vision to yourself and the key people who will partner with you on this journey. If your wellness journey is focused on financial health and you are in a committed relationship with a partner with whom you share your financial resources, it would be important to communicate this vision to him/her. You and him/her need to be clear on the financial commitments and sacrifices both of you will make and you will need to work in partnership to provide support to each other to honor these commitments.

Elements of engagement of people and customer focus is also captured in the above example. These principles are timeless and stunning in the sense that they act in unison. They have their individual merits; however, they work best united, much like our being and its different parts.

Do yourself a favour and unpack all these principles in relation to your wellness journey. First, you can write your own expanded understanding of the principles –

Google is your friend. Then, you ask yourself “how will process approach look in my wellness journey?”

You can do this for all the principles. I hope you enjoy your research!

‘Till the next post.

Stay committed to your growth

As an HR professional I meet both employees who show up for their job as well as employees who are pursuing their career. People who show up for their jobs are simply doing it to earn a salary, whereas people who are pursuing a career have a long-term commitment to building on their existing knowledge, skills, and attitude in their profession. While it is exciting to work with both groups, there is such magic to connecting with a career builder. Career builders show up with such presence and purpose that I sincerely wish this for everyone. 

The major difference, I believe, is that career builders understand that their career is for a significant period of their lives and there are opportunities for growth. Even when the environments they find themselves in do not lend towards growth opportunities, career builders actively work towards creating those opportunities. For them it is more than a job.

You may have started out with big dreams of building a career and due to a number of factors ended up settling for a job and have since given up on your dream or you are waiting for this amazing miracle that will pave the way for your dream to come true. 

If this is you, allow me to share a few pointers that, if applied, can assist you in starting the journey of moving from being a job hunter to being a career builder. With each pointer, I will provide a question that can help you get to the answer. 

1.   Acknowledge where you are. If you are currently a job hunter, own this truth with no shame and judgment. What is my current motivation/s for the work that I do?
2.   Get an idea of where you want to go. It does not have to be perfect and final. Have a starting idea as a beacon to move you in a specific direction. What type of work would give me satisfaction / fulfillment in the areas that matter to me?
3.   Be clear on your values. No matter your profession at any given point, you never want to sell or betray yourself in the process. What type of person would I like to be?
4.   Work hard and where you can, be smart. You will need to build your dreams and it will require work. What do I need to do to get from where I am now to where I need to be?
5. Small and consistent actions create change. What can I do today / in the next week that is within my ability and will move me closer to my dream?
6.   Connect with someone who is either in or pursuing a similar career or find a professional in career development who can partner with you. Who do I know/follow/engage with who can support me on this journey?

A final word: be gentle with yourself on this journey, practice patience, invest in a notebook and make time to write in this notebook using the above pointers as your starting blocks. Getting to where you want to be will be challenging, but you (precious one) are so worth the time and the effort. 

Stay committed to your growth and healing. 

Till the next post